Why not make the most of what I have been given? If I can use my sickness to help one person know that they are not alone, help them to not give up and keep on fighting, and brighten their day a little bit…if I can use my sickness to let someone going through the same thing know that even though the rain might be pouring in their life right now and things might not look that promising… the sun is shining if you look for it, we just have to find the little blessings in our life, the spots that the light shines through.. then I am alright with being chronically ill, because even through my suffering if I’m still able to make a difference, then its worth it.
This is kind of what I base my life around. Lets face it.. I have Gastroparesis, I'm chronically ill and will be for the rest of my life. There's no cure.. right now. But that isn't going to bring me down. I do not enjoy hospital stays, emergency room visits, the vomiting, or being in constant pain.. but why should I sit there and get myself down about it? I'm already going through enough with all of the symptoms, why make myself feel worse by letting it get to me? I can't change my diagnosis. But I won't let my diagnosis define who I am. I won't let my diagnosis get the best of me and take control. Yes, I do have a chronic illness but I'm still a person. I want to be able to try and make the most out of what I've been given.
I know its hard, there are days where I feel like giving up and just feel like not caring anymore. Its alright to cry, its alright to not like that you are chronically ill. But I can't change that I am chronically ill.
What I can change is my attitude about the whole thing. I can try and find the bright side in each and every single day that I am given. I can find things to smile about, things that I can be thankful for. You can too. Find at least one thing to be thankful for each and everyday. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends. I'm thankful for the prayers, support, and encouragement from people all over. And in a way, I am glad that I do have Gastroparesis.. I guess 'glad' is not the best word, but what I am trying to say is this. Gastroparesis was something that you could take as something horrible, but I now looked at it as a blessing in disguise. Gastroparesis isn't that great, its something I have to live with everyday but it has taught me many things. Gastroparesis changed my whole life. It has brought me out of my comfort zone. I used to be a very shy person and was not able to overcome it until I got tired of feeling like I was the only one with this disease. I wanted to see if there was others out there going through the same things that I was going through. Searching for people and finding people that were living their lives with this disease made me realize there were people who completely understood what I was going through. I got to the point where I made the choice to do something about it and that is why I try and do many awareness opportunities. Before I had GP, I was wrapped up into a group of friends that now looking back on it I realize they only brought me down. I let them influence me and my actions, and did not care about others in the same way that I do now. I think being chronically ill has made me more compassionate for other people to try and be there for them and help them in whatever way possible. I took many things for granted before this diagnosis and now I am thankful for the days that I have good health days. I'm thankful for so many things in my life now. I'm thankful for the people that stood by me when everyone else turned on me. I went through a period where I had no real friends except for one person. I had lies and rumors spread about me as well as people confronting me in person and making accusations instead of really listening and believing what I was going through. At that time it truly hurt me, but I am so blessed to have people in my life that would be there for me even if it was 2am and I was sick or needed someone to talk to. I'm blessed to have a family that supports me through my illness. I know that it is hard on all of them. I've felt guilty about it for so long because I felt I was causing them all stress. But I am truly thankful for them and how they try and help me get through things. I am thankful for every single person that I have met with Gastroparesis, another GI disease, or just a chronic illness in general. These people truly inspire and give me hope to keep on fighting.
I guess what has really been on my heart lately is to let everyone know that Gastroparesis is difficult to deal with, but you don't have to go through it alone. Dealing with any type of illness is hard, things might look like they aren't getting better, but know that they will. You have to keep faith and hope that they will. We have to hope that one day there will be a cure for this disease. We have to be thankful for the little things in our lives. This little note might be all over the place.. its my thoughts though.I just felt the need to share with you guys. love you all!
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